I'm addicted to online free TV. I'm kinda embarrassed to admit it, but let's admit it... it's not gonna stop.

I've disengaged (or whatever non-ridiculous term they use for it... deactivate, that's it... I'm sticking with disengaged) my Facebook account. I don't anticipate that this sudden need to become an individual that refrains from describing her current state of being in one pat sentence that amuses all she knows will last more than a day. However, I do feel a little more unencumbered because of this. And thus I will write in LiveJournal... in which I can express my current state of being in numerous sentences that will amuse and abuse all I know!

But seriously, I think I miss LiveJournal. I forget so much that happens, shouldn't I be writing this shit down?! I spent the last hour-ish of my life reading a quasi-celebrity's LiveJournal (Elyse from Season 1 of America's Next Top Model... please don't judge!) and thought "Hey! I could be super cool like that!"

The stint on LiveJournal, in all honesty, may only last as long as the hiatus from Crackbook... but it's the thought that counts, isn't it?!

Yep.
Seriously. So tired.
Why do I stay up so late? It's a mystery.
It's not like TV is particularly scintillating at this hour.
But I have fun watching it with Brendan.

Tomorrow will be a long day.
But it will only be one day, and thus it will be fine.
But tomorrow also = early sleep.
I expect to be up a bit later on Tuesday (BIRTHDAY!) so, might as well get ahead of the game.

Goodnight!

Has anyone actually heard/used the expression "Madly in love" to describe people.
I've only ever heard it in books describing the relationships of people long dead.

I find that kind of sad.

It's been awhile.
But I realize that I really, truly miss writing. Not writing anything particularly exciting, or thoughtful, or - dare I say - intelligent, but simply the act of putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard...) and just letting fly.
I haven't done it for awhile. Particularly for the reason that the times that I really feel the need to write is when I'm particularly upset.

So, the new goal is to write anytime. Anytime I want.
A phrase.
A sentence.
Several letters in a nonsensical pattern.
Whatever.

---

Today, somebody told me all they wanted to do was have a hot bath, a massage, some sushi, and go to bed at 9 p.m.
I think it really speaks to the time of year it is that this particular idea sounded like heaven in four easy steps.
Everybody seems super-stressed out and/or tired right now at school. And unfortunately, although I am aware that there is no medical cause for this, it's contagious.
This time during the school year is crunch time for university students. I thought that in my eighth year at university, I would have learned the lesson of doing things early, not taking too much work on at once, and taking care of myself.
So haven't learned that lesson at all. Although I am completely aware of it.


I fell asleep in the library today.
Best sleep I've had in three days.

So, not everything went according to the plan for today.
However, I am feeling excited. Excited for the plans that I *made* today.

Plans for recital rep.
Plans for accompanying.
Plans in general.

I feel ready to take it all on, right at this moment.

I am still tired.
Still feeling overworked.
But happy.
It's weird.

... but exciting...
:)

I'm getting kinda pissed that the Facebook "gift of the day" is STILL "Key to my Heart". It's adorable and all. But I'm a little tipsy right now and that stupid key is laughing in my alone-and-not-liking-it face.

>:(

Dear LJ,

I'm sorry we haven't seen each other in a while. As cliched as this sounds, it's me... not you. With reading assignments (most of which have been left to the very last minute or not done at all), attending classes, this past weekend's 19hours of Singers' Rehearsal, applying for two new jobs at the UM, starting as head recording tech at the FoM, and procrastinating calling my students to inform them of lessons not starting until October, I've been completely swamped.
I promise, that when a little of this blows over, there will be a real update.
I PROMISE!

Love,
Her Never-Ending Bitchy-Moodiness
A.K.A. Deena

P.S. SOOO don't want to go to my first piano lesson tomorrow. I have nothing even new-ish to play, and I have to discuss rep and I don't wanna and I'm afraid that I'm gonna hurt myself or just screw up royally and then end up having a completely crap degree, never getting into a good masters program, and dying naked, poor, and completely alone in a gutter! But more on that at another time...

I literally only have 3 pairs of pants that fit me.
One pair is sweatpants that I usually only wear out of the house when I'm sick and need to buy medicine. Otherwise, they function as loungepants/PJ pants.
This is not good.

Supremely disappointed right now.

I can't believe I fucked up the VERY LAST test for French.
Stupid.
That's what I get for going out and having fun for an entire weekend, for probably only the fifth time in my entire life.
Great.
That's just super.

I have a lab test that starts in 10 minutes.
I don't even care what mark I get.

jklajklkljsdawt4e szklh

Dear Alcohol Tolerance,

What. The. Fuck.
Seriously, I hadn't had ANYTHING to drink in over 3 months.
I figured, the least I might get out of it would be a few cheap, happy drunks.
But no. 'Twas not to be.
A goodly amount of liquor served only to make me flushed (pretty well guaranteed in any bar-like situation, cuz I get overheated easily) and gave me a buzz for a half hour.
Again: What. The. Fuck!

Kindest regards,
Deena


I suppose next time, the amount of alcohol consumed will just have to be much larger... ;)

Trying hard to be angry with the makers of the Facebook app Scrabulous is impossible at this point. Because they're just being too darned cute with their error msgs!

Need another day.

What we did last night did not work, we need another day to get this running.

There's no point in letting everyone try to play and face errors, so we're closing it for some more time. Please check back in tomorrow.

Any programmers with experience in load balancing please email fb.scrabulous@gmail.com . We can do with some support in that area.

Sorry folks ... trying our best to give you the best.

lolz

It's officially been over 3 months now.
12 weeks + 2 days, to be exact.

(i am so done)

I am so ready for school to start.
And yet...
I am dreading it immensely.

Ain't life grand?

i feel all caffeinated
but still tired

the randomness is:
was anyone aware that the library catalogue is closed for maintenance between 4:58 a.m. and 6:05 a.m. on Sundays?

there's something i didn't think i'd ever get to know in my lifetime. that's what happens when you are bored at 5:49 a.m. on a Sunday I guess...

When did I suddenly become the emo chick for the majority of the time?
Oh right...
I'm just going to face my fate and go take emo-Myspace pics in my bathroom... after I comb my bangs over my face.
shit.

Last Week:
me <-------------> breakdown

Now:
me <-----> breakdown

where "<---->" = "approximate distance from"

yeah. me no much sense make.

7 weeks + 1 day.
damnit.
</random>

... borrowed from "Dear You's Journal"... a community of Dear letters: http://community.livejournal.com/dear_you/

Why? Because it's what I asked myself before I came into music. And now I'm not sure I gave an answer that I'm still happy with... :'(

Dear Boring Summer

[23 Jun 2007|12:25pm]

feldtbutt Dear Boring Summer, You make my mind so fickle. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. But now that I'm out of school for the summer, I'm not so sure anymore. I want to do everything. My muscial talents now have time to be seen and heard. I want to play in a professional symphony now. But now my creative mind is back into books. I love reading and daydreaming about my books. I want to be a writer. I want to write a best seller. But thinking about those goals of mine, will I ever accomplish them? I mean what was my plan before? To be an engineer? Just because I have math and science smarts? But is it worth it? Do I give up my musical side for my geeky side? Or do I just give up on the sciences and go back to my musical drive. Summer, I despise you right now. You are making me think more than my classes at school do. And I am thinking about a subject I'd rather not think about: me. What do I want to do? Summer, you make me think more than my science classes. Sincerely, A summer-burned-out college kid