I'm so hip, I can't see past my pelvis.

Charmaine
11 June 2005

The world needs more Brendans.

Chris
1 July 2005

Sleep is one of the most important things you can do with your life.

Michael
6 Aug 2005

I dressed myself this morning. There was a lot of jerking... and then I put on clothes.

Jason
19 Sept 2005

She failed me like a spoon.

Andrea
30 Sept 2005

Actually, I cover my entire body with Preparation H when no one's looking...

Brendan
23 Oct 2005

I feel like I'm in the future.

Jon
25 Nov 2005

He has the most consonants I've ever seen on a person.

Ben
16 Feb 2006

I decided to name my testicles Thomas and Harold. Then it'll be Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Jason
24 Feb 2006

And since Jackie and I have experience playing with each other, we're together.

Murray
19 March 2006

Oh my God, I just Shatnered. I just Shatnered all over myself.

Brendan
22 April 2006

I wish *I* were a flower.

Gerard
2 June 2006

Oh my god. I have a paper cut the size of a manuscript.

Vanessa
25 Sept 2006

I'm a big fan of lunch.

Alex
12 Oct 2006

Pizza Hotline: Easy in, Easy out.

Erickson
10 Jan 2007

There's definitely not a pandemic in my pants any longer.

Chris
19 Jan 2007

I don't know his name, but I remember smelling his lettuce.

Karen
6 Feb 2007

I wasn't listening on that one... I was busy beating up a uterus.

Matt F
17 Feb 2007

I'm not excessively happy! Well, I'm not excessively mad... I'm just excessive!

Kara
23 Feb 2007

I always be a food critic.

Olivia
6 June 2007

Olivia, you ain't no woman, you a lady. You ain't no lady, you a tramp.

Brendan
6 June 2007

Me: Oh my god, you're gay...
Murray: I wake up like that.

12 June 2007